I wanted to share a little bit more about myself and my struggles. Every one has their own story so I thought that I should tell mine. I grew up in a semi stable food environment. My parents cooked a few times a week, and we ordered take out a few times a week. Not necessarily a healthy situation but not necessarily unhealthy either. I remember my dad cooking chili, spaghetti, lamb chops, chicken, etc and my mom used to bake a lot of casseroles. I never had a problem with my weight until I was in 7th grade. I remember distinctly when and where it happened. When I was 12, I had put on a little weight during summer break because I was in the house by myself and not going to kid’s day camp anymore. My weight eventually evened out when I had a growth spurt a few months later. However, I can remember sitting at the lunch table in middle school, eating my lunch, and looking around the table and none of my friends were eating lunch. So, I thought that I shouldn’t be eating lunch too and I lost some weight, my friends noticed and praised me and it all goes from there. My weight was stable all throughout high school due to a very active lifestyle. I was on 2 cheerleading teams, school and all stars. I was practicing almost every day for at least 3 hours for school and 2 hours for all stars and on top of that I went to tumbling classes to increase my skills individually. I never really watched what I ate in high school, I either ate whatever I wanted or when I noticed my weight going up.. I ate hardly at all until it went back down. However, all of this changed once my high school boyfriend and I broke up. I was a senior in high school, getting ready to graduate and I had just gone through a break up earlier in the year. My weight got very low, I don’t know exactly how low because we didn’t have a scale, but I can tell from photos during the time period. After graduation, my mom took me on a trip to NYC and I realized that the world is a wonderful place, why was I doing this to myself? So, I stopped and started to eat the way I normally ate again. Then college happened. Of course, with that comes a few pounds… about 15 to be exact, yep the freshman 15. How cliche. I met my husband a few months after I started university and I was very happy so I let go of restricting myself and enjoyed food, a little too much. I knew I wanted to get back down to my previous weight but when I decided to live in Sweden, so Hans could finish grad school, I kinda freaked out.. so along comes the weight loss, yet again. I got down to about 100 lbs, I am just shy of 5’3 (hey that extra bit counts when you’re short!!) 100 lbs is way too skinny for me. I don’t have a small frame, more of a medium and I have some major hips and curves, I am not meant to be that skinny. I thought I looked amazing at the time (even though my whole family noticed my behaviour and stressed the importance of how badly I was treating my body) and I was ready for my adventures in Europe. I hadn’t seen Hans for 2 months and when I got off the plane, he was kind of shocked at how thin I had become. We had to live with his parents for 1 month while we looked for an apartment in Sweden and his mom noticed my destructive eating behaviour. She tried in little ways to help me learn to eat healthy and exercise moderately. Her showing me was mostly how I turned my ways around. I saw that she was petite and small, like me ,but she still ate real food in moderation. It has been a struggle but I believe that I have restored most of my unhealthy views on food. I still have my moments though. After eating well in Sweden, my weight has been stable at 112 (give or take) for almost 2 years. I am not saying that I am perfect at healthy eating and well-being because I am not. I love my cereal and candy!! I try to look at it as the path to health instead of trying to fit in a smaller size. This helps me when I have destructive thoughts in my head about eating and my body image. Well, I hope this has taught you a little more about myself and my journey to where I am today!
Since I can’t bring myself to post without a photo, I will leave you with a photo of me and one of my best friends, Inga. She is German but I met her in Sweden, she studied at the same school that I went to. I am going to visit her when I go to Germany in a month 🙂 Can’t wait to see her again!!